This is what I heard from some recently married women:
“I only felt that I got married too early for the first year. But I’ve enjoyed every moment of being married. I don’t feel that I should have waited. I have thoroughly enjoyed the companionship I have because I’m married. And because I got married early, I got enough time to spend with my spouse before starting to think about family and life seriously. I was absolutely ready when I decided to get married. I don’t think there’s really an age – your mind and heart should be ready.”
“No, marriage is not what I expected. The pros: the bond becomes a family bond, you always have the one you love with you legally, people give you a whole new respect as a couple, you get to share everything, you have someone for life. The cons: you have to learn to depend on your partner to live up to his/her responsibilities. Some things you don’t necessarily want to share, but you still have to, like money, dealing with in-laws and families, and having higher expectations for each other. If you don’t meet these expectations you could deal with way worse fights than before. Marriage is work and needs constant dedication and commitment. Even when there’s so much love, things are not as easy as you expect.”
“I was ready before I decided to get married. Companionship is the thing I enjoy most about being married, especially after having lived with roommates and alone for some time. I get a sense of security and completion. I now have a person with whom I can share everything. Though I knew my husband very well before I got married, there are still situations where I discover something new about him. And that makes it exciting.”
Recently married men:
“It’s like learning to drive, it’s difficult initially. Then you get used to your car and your car gets used to you. The maintenance problems come at times but you have to be flexible.”
“Marriage is beautiful. It does come with its own set of challenges and adaptations that both parties have to make. All of a sudden now you have to keep things in place, keep the house clean, let her control the remote (sometimes!). I felt that I should have gotten married earlier but now I feel the timing was perfect. Some decisions just mature with age. If you love the person, it does not matter when you decide to tie the knot, unless you’re dealing with parents pressuring you do so. It’s a beautiful feeling to wake up with that person next to you the whole time, do the little household chores together, see her have our baby together, see our baby move inside her tummy, take care of her cravings, and take her “nakhres” (whimsical demands) lovingly. Those big moments of buying a house. All of that is totally worth it. You will face fear/cold feet on the day of the wedding but as the saying goes “dar ke age jeet hai” (once you cross over the obstacle of fear, there is only victory).
“Frankly, I was not ready for marriage during the 3 years of being in a relationship with her, and even before, when I was single. Why? Simply because I never felt like it. In those 3 years both of us went through a lot. We dealt with the trials of long distance and stayed together through everything. The thought of settling down grew gradually in me. There was a point, I still remember, at which I said to myself “I want to marry her.” There is no sign or logic to it, it’s all natural. Everyone will experience this in their own way at some point in their life (whether they’re in a relationship or single). You will have your own clues to come to a conclusion. In my case, I felt like spending more time with her, felt her presence in every moment of my life. These were the moments before marriage that I will cherish for life. The day itself went by really fast. We decided to be the same with each other as we always were but that is never 100% possible after you’re married. The same situation you’ve faced before in a certain way will now have a different solution. We didn’t change individually but we united in more ways than before. All in all? Your life takes a new turn and the road could be bumpy at times and smooth at times, you just need to be stable and trust each other.”