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Life of Pb

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Life of Pb

Tag Archives: Happiness

No Excuses

20 Monday Apr 2015

Posted by PB in AutoPruthography

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

calm, dance, Happiness, health, mindfullness, passion, soothing, Soul, yoga

meditation-yoga-hd-wallpaper

So I’ve been feeling a little lost lately. Like I have no direction in life, no real roots anywhere, no familiarity with this new place I’ve been calling home since the end of December. Not surprising I guess, since a large portion of every week is spent in a different state altogether. It’s not really that though. While I was always aware that this move to Chicago was a bold, potentially risky step, it is also completely in alignment with what makes me..well..me. The ambition, the drive to succeed, the will to conquer everything I set my mind to, is as much a part of me as my very soul. And technically speaking, my life has never been more stable. Yet I am a little muddled in my thoughts, and lack clarity when it comes to what my next steps in life are. I’ve felt that uneasiness for a little while now but haven’t really been able to put a finger on an actual issue. It’s like my gut has been quietly poking at me to sit up and take notice, but I’ve frankly just been too caught up with busting my butt at an extremely challenging job, or struggling to balance a crazy travel schedule, or dealing with the wonderful familial pressures of being a 27..almost 28-year old unmarried Indian girl (don’t even get me started there).

It wasn’t until just today, as I sat in absolute silence, watching the Chicago rain and drinking some soothing tea that I actually had a chance to think about what I’m feeling. I don’t ever really get a chance to sit by myself and contemplate anymore. Day-to-day life is too hectic, too busy, too demanding on what little alone time I used to enjoy. I realized I’ve given up two extremely important activities that have always acted as incredible healers of my mind, body and soul: yoga, and dance. And I realized I’ve been making excuses for why I can’t pursue both anymore. The excuses are pretty legit – I travel Mon-Thurs and am beyond exhausted at the end of each work day to the point where I just fall into bed – but I need to work harder to fit in some yoga time if I can. Especially since I know it’s absolutely worth it. I’ve never been happier, healthier, or calmer than when I was practicing. Dance will be a little more difficult, but surely not impossible.

The point is, not making any excuses for doing what it takes to take care of myself. I look around and see other people religiously working out or following their passions and I tend to brush it off thinking “They have the time. They don’t spend 80% of their week in another state.” I can’t keep doing that. I know what I’m like without yoga and dance. I’m a shell of my real self. A robot, going through the required activities of the day and nothing more. And I know I’m not as happy as I could be. It’s time to spend more time taking care of myself.

No excuses.

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Gross National Happiness

07 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by PB in Reflective Rants

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Tags

Asia, beauty, Bhutan, bliss, buddhism, developing, gender equality, GNH, Gross National Happiness, Happiness, national dress, nature, plastic bag ban, poor, poverty, tobacco ban

136.2_CP_Bhutan_HaaValley

I recently watched a BBC news report on Bhutan, one of the poorest and least developed countries in the world with a GDP of a whopping $110 USD a month. Yet, the country is ranked #1 in ‘happiness’ in all of Asia, and #8 in the world. It is also the only country in the world that measures its people’s well-being by looking at Gross National Happiness (GNH) instead of GDP. Interesting. So you’re telling me I don’t need lots of money to be happy?

Plastic bags are banned, tobacco is pretty much illegal, it is mandatory to wear the national dress during working hours, employers are required to hire an equal proportion of men and women in their workplaces, education and healthcare are free, and the country runs a 100% on renewable energy and is considering going 100% organic as well. Oh, and my personal favorite: the calmest, road-rage-crazies-free ‘rush hour traffic’ you’ve ever seen!

Imagine if even a third of these practices were adopted by the western world. A smoke-free existence (and a reduction in associated diseases)? Gender equality in the workplace? Free healthcare (in the U.S.) and no student loans bogging us down? I don’t know about you, but even this much of change sounds phenomenal to me. I mean, the country has something called the Palace of Great Bliss, for heaven’s sake!

I’m not saying we should live like hermits, cut off from the outside world and culture. I do think that part of the Bhutanese culture, like wearing the national dress to work everyday, would drive me a little bit mental. But we can surely take steps to make simple changes such as banning plastic bags and tobacco, right? Maybe work harder towards free healthcare and education for future generations? Because honestly? It looks to me like this extremely underdeveloped, poor, isolated, ‘backward’ country is leaps and bounds ahead of us when it comes to living happily with oneself and one’s environment. Here we are, crying about lung cancer and depleting fossil fuels and deforestation and a lack of sufficient health insurance coverage and pollution and all these other issues, but we look down on the very countries that got it right a very long time ago and are living blissfully. Countries that are still heavily forested because their government regulates the amount and types of industries allowed and in doing so, limits the pollution people have to live with.

They may not have Google, NASA or Hollywood, but they sure as hell have that key to happiness we’ve spent our lives searching for.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p01dmw58
(link to the bbc.co.uk article I’m referencing in this blog)
Related articles
  • Bhutan – the world’s first organic country? (makewealthhistory.org)
  • In a country of GNH ( Gross National Happiness ) (journey2bhutan.wordpress.com)
  • Learn.Bhutan.GrossNationalHappinessExplained (maatsdefenders.wordpress.com)

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A License to Wed: My Conclusions

30 Sunday Jun 2013

Tags

Dementia, Devotion, Grandparent, Happiness, Independence Day (India), India, love, Marriage, Old age, Single parent, Unconditional love

So you had a chance to see what people at different points in their lives think. The list is not exhaustive by any means, nor are these opinions necessarily representative of our culture. But it is enough to have an understanding of the current mindset when it comes to this controversial institution. I say controversial because there are so many out there who will never get married, by pure choice, and be subject to scrutiny by others. I can see the appeal of a bachelor life – not having to compromise your lifestyle, worry about in-laws and family traditions, not being stuck to one person for the rest of your life, not having to share your assets, and so on.

My take though? Marriage is essential, at least for me. It is my belief that having that strong source of support (especially as our parents get old and let’s face it, reach the end of their life) is crucial for our well-being. Finding yourself all alone with no spouse to provide that pillar of strength can be very daunting. Our parents/guardians are older than us, and while they can provide that pillar for a period of time, we will most likely outlive them. Having that husband/wife to support you and cheer you on through your toughest periods in life is absolutely critical! Even when it comes to having kids – it is extremely difficult to be a single parent, and in situations where you can avoid that, it is my opinion that you should. Not because I care about what society thinks. No, that kid deserves the benefits that come with having two parents. Benefits such as a higher family income, better supervision, more than one perspective in every situation, and so much more. I’m not saying being a single mom or dad is a bad thing. I’m just saying that avoiding that setup if possible is my opinion so the child can get the most out of it.

It’s not a fairytale though. I’ve stopped believing Disney movie endings (“..and they lived happily ever after!” – i.e. they got married and life automatically became perfect!) and locked away my fantasies of being stupidly happy once I found “the one” and got married. I don’t mean that in a cynical way. I just mean that these movies put a lot of pressure on men, expecting them to make grand gestures and orchestrate perfect proposals while we, the women, sit around and wait for the magic of happily ever after to happen. Marriage will be work. Definitely. It’ll probably be the hardest I’ve ever worked on a relationship in my entire life. But that’s just it. All that work will help build that trust, companionship and love we so desire and expect to automatically happen upon being wed.

 cinderella-happily-ever-after

My maternal grandmother and grandfather had a love marriage. In that day and age, especially in India, I cannot imagine the trials they must have faced to get this to happen. They met while fighting for Indian Independence from the British. She was carrying a huge board and yelling out something about freedom and non-violence. He was part of another group of protestors. She spent one night in jail upon being caught, and he spent 6 months. They fell in love and got married despite my grandfather’s family having objections to him marrying a simple girl with no mother (her mother died when she was very young). My grandmother went through a lot after the wedding. She was a gentle soul and therefore got walked over a lot. She also had a lot to learn about being a housewife, since her lack of a mother meant no one had taught her all those things. But they worked through all of this together, as a team. I’ve always thought of them as the most successful marriage I’ve seen. Even though they’d bicker from time to time, they loved each other dearly, and you could plainly see that this love and respect for each other had steadily developed from a young, passionate romance in their teens/twenties to a deep, unconditional love throughout their lives.

About 7 years ago, my grandma started to get really fragile. She’d lose her balance easily and fell and broke her hip several times. Throughout it all, my grandfather took care of her without a single complaint. You could see that his day wouldn’t feel complete unless he had made her tea in the morning, helped her bathe, eaten lunch with her while watching TV, and taken care of all of her needs. A few years later she started to get dementia. She’d forget people and events sporadically, and I could tell it was very hard on him. But his care for her did not falter in the slightest. Even when she’d fight with him for forgetting to give her tea that morning (which was not true – her dementia made her forget that she had in fact had tea and breakfast already), he’d take it like a champ. He’d fight back and joke around with her that she’d forget him too one day!

About 5 years ago, my grandfather got sick and was taken to the hospital. In that week that he was away, even though she wouldn’t remember that he was in the hospital, my grandma would get very upset because she knew something was missing, and her other half was not well. Even though she couldn’t remember, she could feel it in her heart. He wasn’t around to make her tea and breakfast anymore, he wasn’t around to bicker with her anymore, and she was miserable. Even though someone else was doing all of those things, she knew something wasn’t right. Within a month of his hospitalization, my grandma passed away. He came back home completely healed, but she couldn’t bear the separation and left us. Now, while my grandpa is still alive, he is so sad all the time because he really misses her. Although this story makes me sad, it really gives me hope for our generation. We need only to look at our parents or their parents and try to follow their example when it comes to making a happy life together with someone.

Don’t run away at the first sign of trouble, don’t take your partner for granted, don’t stop trying to keep passion in the relationship, work as a team, don’t stick to the old concept of “the woman’s always in the kitchen and takes care of the kids while the man brings home the bread”. Equally divide up the chores, don’t leave the cooking and cleaning just to one person, make decisions together, have adventures together, respect each other.. I hope that if I were to get sick like my grandma (touchwood, I hope not), that I would have someone like my grandfather to take care of me with that much love and affection, and vice versa.

Marriage

Posted by PB | Filed under Marriage

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License to Wed: The Almost Married

30 Sunday Jun 2013

Tags

Anticipation, Anxiety, Coldfeet, Excitement, Fear, Happiness, India, Marriage, Pre-wedding jitters, Relationships, United States, Wedding

Almost married women:

“I feel like I’m not a good case study because we were long distance – so I’m really excited!!! Nervous for the wedding itself because Indian weddings are an organized chaos – but so excited to have found someone to spend my life with. We will finally be in the same place even 3 to 4 days a week.”

Indian wedding 2

“Marriage for me now only seems like a formality, a procedure to legalize my relationship to my partner. Being with him for many years makes me realize that I am so used to him that life seems incomplete without him. Daily chores are mundane, my home isn’t a home without him. If marriage is what makes it complete then I love the idea of marriage. I can’t wait to see what horizons are yet unseen beyond the realm of marriage. I want to know how the transition from being a girlfriend to a fiancee now changes to becoming a wife. Just thinking of marrying him and making our vows to love each other forever fills me with joy and anticipation. This feeling reassures me that the decision we are taking is the right one and HE is the right one!”

“Marriage is one of many life choices. I would just say choose your spouse wisely. There are definitely some compromises but instead of fighting it, I have learned to grow in the relationship. And that’s how I know I am with the right person because I would never have done it for anyone else otherwise. And it will definitely be interesting staying with my new husband on a daily basis. I have always been very independent and never relied on anyone for happiness but I do think it’s important to have that sense of security. It’s always good to know he’s got my back. Last but not least – tax benefits!”

Posted by PB | Filed under Marriage

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PB

PB

No regrets, only experiences. I strictly believe in this philosophy because I feel that everything that happens to me, for me, and because of me, is responsible for making me who I am and who I will become. I strive for success in everything I do but I understand the importance of failure in teaching me about perseverance, faith, and humility. I like leading as balanced a life as possible; I am a full-time working professional, but in my free time I dance, write, and read to my heart's content. I'd like to add wildlife photography to that list but my plate is slightly full at the moment. I wouldn't call myself a writer by any means, and I write only for my enjoyment and peace of mind. It is an added bonus if others read and like my work, but that is not the purpose of my blogging. I feel like my thoughts, which usually bounce around chaotically in my head, easily fall into place when I put pen to paper. I aspire to be highly knowledgeable and successful in my professional field, write my own novel, travel the world, and organize at least one collaborative dance venture with dancers from a range of different dance forms. In a nutshell, I am a whole lot of passion in a tiny little package of a person!

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Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Alena Dillon

writer, snorter, sitcom watcher

The Fancy Pants Report | San Francisco Fashion Blog

Keira Lennox

real-life style & beauty.

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Where I talk back to life

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A chronicle of fun and fear, or, daily life with my young trans daughter

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A bucket list blog: exploring happiness, growth, and the world.

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creatively speaking

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